Sales Training Tips

I am in training all day today and tomorrow.  That said, no one is safe.  I just want to say that if you are a sales trainer or do any kind of training at all, at least do the following:

1)  Know your audience.

2)  Explain why the training matters to them and will benefit them.

3)  Be sure to give stretch breaks often.

4)  When sales training in particular, absolutely positively, always know the company and what it sells backwards and forwards.  Without this, you will look like a fool.

I am a prisoner in my own office building.

Happy Selling!

Bypass Phone Prompts

Have you ever dialed into one of those customer service 800 numbers and felt like you were in an abyss?

Well, to the kind readers of the Bulldawg Today, I offer a solution to bypass phonetree hell.  Check out www.gethuman.com

And get a human on the other end of the phone.

*breathe easier* In through the nose, out through the mouth.  Repeat. 

Enjoy!

Shopping in the Grocery Store

I was in the grocery store today to get a few things on the way home and had a few random thoughts.

Why in the hell do grocery stores have sooo much candy left over after every holiday?  I mean the candy sales guy had better be driving a luxury car for all the excess I have to navigate around immediately after I enter the store.  There were 6 carts lined up with nothing but sweets with the ‘ol 50% off sign taped to the front.  No wonder so many people in America have a problem losing weight.  WTF?

Second thing was as I found the aisle where the salad dressing was (yes it was fat free) This lady had her cart on one side of the aisle and was standing in the other side of the aisle pondering her navel what she was going to buy.  I as the gentlemen that I am, said nothing and smiled when she realized she was indeed blocking the entire fucking aisle and moved while saying oh sorry…….   Come on lady, be more alert on your surroundings for crying out loud will ya?!@  Note to self, don’t block aisles in grocery store.

The Third and last thing I will rant about is the half cans of Diet 7UP I saw at my friend’s house the other night while we were over for dinner.  

These are *ahem* half cans of Diet 7Up.  How non=committal.  Diet drink in a 6oz can?? May as well have water!

From the Cadbury Scweppes website:

Did you know?

• When mixed with half a cup of water, half a can of 7 Up keeps Roses blooming for 7 to 10 days.  YUCK what does that mean it does do your intestines then??
   
• 7 Up originally contained small amounts of lithium – used for its medicinal qualities in the early part of the 20th century to make people feel good – an appropriate additive for a drink in the US Great Depression.   Yuck again.

Cheerio!

Trump VS Rosie

I just had to write about this.  I really hate Rosie and everything she is……I also believe that Trump can be a jerk as well……but why would a woman like Rosie slam a guy for giving an addict a second chance??  I don’t get it.

 Click here to see what Trump has to say about The snowflake Rosie.

UPS Tracking

I just want to sound off about UPS.  First off, if you have a choice, use the USPS or FedEx.

I had something 2nd day Air ship out on the 18th of December.  It is now 3 business days later and I still don’t have my package.

This is something that has occurred 2 or 3 times this year so far.  This shipment is from Costco and the agent at Costco said that UPS doesn’t even include a PO with their tracking info!  What a POS company UPS is.  They must have given Costco a whale of a deal to get their business.

FedEx sales people:  Please go to Costco and get their business.  Consumers like me are sick of not receiving and receiving late packages from tired ‘ol UPS.  They suck!

Costco execs:  Please switch to FedEx; they are worth it for just the piece of mind alone!

UPS (Untimely Piece of Shit) :  You really need to get you act together!

Check this for more trouble with UPS:  http://www.geekasaurus.com/clint/blog/?p=27

Time: Person of The Year

I saw the Time Person of the Year a few days ago was ….drum roll please….YOU!

Blah.

Couldn’t those folks at Time Magazine make a decision on one person?  I would have hated to be at those internal meetings.  I bet an intern watching the clock thought this up.  Pretty undeniably unoriginal.

Very non-committal.  Like cutting a piece of chocolate in half.  Just something you don’t do.

Come on Time Magazinites get it together!

Christmas Card Etiquette

OK people, ’tis the season…….the grinch stole Christmas…..I got a brick….whatever.

Can someone please tell me why 90% of the cards I am receiving from both friends and family are completely preprinted.  I am talking about the entire damned thing!

Let’s start with the envelope shall we??  I mean I can understand that most folks these days have return address labels, for heavens sake the Salvation Army send me 50 with a flag every year I give a donation. 

I digress.  Why can’t people hand write the address anymore?  I do.  I hand write the addresses because I think it adds a little bit of humanity and thought to the whole process.  I would really appreciate it if folks would hand write their addresses.  At the very craziest minimum, I would like my complete name spelled correctly.  For example if it were Smith, I am talking S-M-I-T-H.  NOT smythe, smithe, smyth or smit.  Come on put some time into proof reading and verifying the last names are at least correct.

Let’s move inside the envelope.   Please don’t buy those really expensive, foil lined and double packed envelopes.  They are hard as hell to open and after all, why spend extra on something goes into the trash anyway?  I don’t care about the envelope.  A carrier pigeon could drop the card on me and that would be just fine. 

On to the card.  If you send a card….any card, please make sure you at least sign your name to it.  Sign something to it….hell at least get a pen and write on it somewhere.  This year I am receiving an inordantly high amount of the costco picture cards with the very generic “Merry Christmas!  Love Becky, Paul, Olivia and John Smith”  What the hell is that?  Come on people, I haven’t heard from you in 6 months and would like to get caught up on what is going on. 

Let’s move on to the final piece of this rant.  The stamp.  It is now $0.39 to mail a letter/card.  Don’t send me a card with a $0.33 cent stamp and the rest in 1 or 3 cent stamps.  It is time to bite the bullet sammy and realize that if it has been that long since you sent a letter, you might as well just pack it in.

 Oh, and no joking around….if I don’t receive a card from you this year, you won’t get one from me next year.  I am tired of you lazy sons-of-bitches that can’t send a Merry Christmas  card with a love, so and so on it.

Every year I send out at least 30 cards.  I handwrite all of them with the exception of the return address. 

Yes they have correct postage as well.

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!

DDOS (Distributed Denial of Service Attack)

In the spirit of a sales guy knowing just enough to have an educated conversation with an engineer, I bring you the following rocking story!

How a Bookmaker and a Whiz Kid Took On an Extortionist – and Won

Facing an online extortion threat, Mickey Richardson bet his Web-based business on a networking whiz from Sacramento, California who first beat back the bad guys, then helped the cops nab them. 

If you collect any revenue online, you’d better read this.

It is a little long……about 30 minutes to read.  But great reading.  Could they make a series out of this guy?

Click here to check it all out!

Fresh Choice

This is a manners rant.

I took the family out to the neighborhood Fresh Choice tonight and damned if I wasn’t pissed off at the guy behind me by the time I reached the registers.  You know; you walk in to the joint and they hit you over the head with the cafeteria trays.  They even have the mini red cafeteria trays for the kids.

After you get your tray, plates and utencils, it’s off to the Kings Table Smorgasboard!  Well, they guy behind me was really irritating at best.  EVERY time he chose something to put on his plate, I heard him say, ” Oh I just love jicama” or, “I just love pasta”.  Give me a break Mr lovey dovey. 

So, when I finally got to the end of the food line, where you pay at the register, this ass-clown holds his tray 2 inches above half of my food!

What an idiot!!  I asked him to please move his tray, that it was common courtesy to not reach across and hold his tray over my food.  He just huffed and puffed.  This guy was around…..oh I dunno…….. maybe 55 or 60 years of age.  I just could not believe he did that.

Okay I am done.  Thanks for listening!

Will It Blend??

I came across this interesting site.  It is one those quasi funny, interesting, salesy type videos that make you think hmmmmmm, how’d they do that? 

Well what are waiting for?  Click here!