Ford posts worst loss in its history

I seriously think Ford should just turn off the lights and close the doors for good.  What are they thinking? 

The company has rolled out or will introduce several new or updated products during 2007, including the Edge crossover (have you seen this car?  Talk about playing catch up….can you say Murano, or Lexus 330?!) , new F-series Super Duty pickups (who cares?), a redesigned Focus small car (why don’t they make a hybrid Focus??) and an updated Five Hundred larger sedan.  (Just what we need….a larger sedan!  baloney.)

But many analysts are skeptical that the products are strong enough to turn the company around.  ——uh yeah ya think?!

Here’s the link to the obituary for Ford:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070125/ap_on_bi_ge/earns_ford

have a great day!

Dawg

The Wave

I am writing tonight about drivers that purport to be courteous, but are really not.

You know the ones.  The Sunday drivers on a Monday afternoon, after 3 back to back meetings at 5:30 in the afternoon. 

They are the ones that, when their lane merges with yours, are too stubborn to let you in.  They are also the ones that see you coming as the turn right into your lane.  Without coming to a complete stop and waiting till it’s clear to proceed.  They don’t care if they cut you off.  You can slow down, sucker!

Tonight on my way home the latter happened, where the guy turned into my my lane and then as almost run into the guy’s bumper, as he cut me off, he gives me the wave.  This was as if to say Thanks!  Usually thats you do when someone does something nice for you on the road, you wave.  Well this time the wave, was more of a “yeah I cut you off sucker!  Now back off!  To that guy I have the following:

My point is this, be sincere with the wave.  Don’t abuse it or you may just get the bird!

Have a nice night!

Dawg

The Garbage Disposal

Will someone please tell me what is happening with my wife’s obsession to throw anything down the sink’s garbage disposal?

 To date I have pulled out of said disposal:

Top to baby’s bottle, the pull tab from can, bottle cap, pacifier, baby’s spoon, regular spoon, the end of 3 carrots, the end of celery stalk, a handfull of mush that looked like steak and rice.

Can someone please make a label that says:  “if you wouldn’t chew it up in your mouth, please throw it in the trash.” I mean for god sakes, if I had a dollar for every time my wife has said it was broken, I would be rich. 

Or at least have that pinball game I want by now. 

Seriously, please do yourself a favor and save money on plumber bills by only putting soft things down the “In Sinkerator” fondly referred to as the pig or garbage disposal.

Thank you,

Dawg

Double Trouble

So I was at a function for my daughter tonight.  It was for a YMCA group called adventure guides.  The host house was amazing. 

It had a wine cellar, game room, movie room and a bathroom off of the lower part of the house, near the movie room.  I mean probably a 3 million dollar house at the end of the day.  You get it.

Trouble #1

I got it; the urge that I had to take a leak; pee, urinate.  I know I know.   So I see the bathroom door open, which by the way is as big as the front door in my house.  I make a move for it.  As I enter the bathroom, I realize it has the hard to activate lights; the ones that you press twice to turn all the way on…….but they did not come on.  I was thinking, “are you fucking kidding me?!”  I had to pee!  I tried some more, managed to turn on the fan, thank you very little.  By now I was thinking, man I hope I don’t pee on the floor or miss or something.  Then I found this little button and wallah!  The clouds parted and there was light!

Trouble #2

As I strolled over to the crapper, after closing the door and locking it, I noticed that someone had already been there before me.  Yep you guessed it.  There are 7 other dads 5 feet from the bathroom and at least two saw me go in.  I peed.  Of course!! ahhhh better now.  I flush, like a true gentleman. 

So now the ruse:  That damned early 90’s low flow toilet was stopped up!  The turd that someone else left is still in there!  Oh My Gawd!!  Oh Oh OH!  (read Sam Kinison) So now I am really screwed.  No one wants to be the person that asks for the “plunger”.  Or says uh ….I stopped it up.  Or “Hey the toilet’s clogged again!”  Damn it.  So I had a decision.

The decision:

I could have been the guy to help out the host and take one for the phantom turd layer, or say nothing and leave it.  I left it.  No one saw me do it.  I didn’t do it.

What would you have done if you were in this quandry?

 peace,

Dawg

Hitman’ e-mails rattle recipients

I stumbled across this story I cut and pasted below today. 

 I don’t have *any* idea how I got to it, cause after I read it, I felt like I had just stepped in poop.  I know I know……But honestly,  after reading the broken english in this email……I would probably just go to the cops with it or reply to it with something like:

Hey Idiot: I get one life here on earth.  While I am here, I am not going to let a monkey with a 2nd grade command of the English language scare me what-so-ever.  Yeah right put $20K into an account?  You’ll take NO and like it you scumbag.  Take your best shot pippy!  Life is too short to worry about dolts like you.

Love and kisses,

Dawg

Subj: Be safe in this new year
Date: 1/2/2007 4:40:05 A.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: unknownmission@unknownmission.com
Reply to: missionstocomplete@yahoo.ie

Good day,

I want you to read this message very carefully, and keep the secret with you till further notice, You have no need of knowing who i am, where am from, till i make out a space for us to see, i have being paid $50,000.00 in advance to terminate you with some reasons listed to me by my employers, its one i believe you call a friend, i have followed you closely for one week and three days now and have seen that you are innocent of the accusation, Do not contact the police or F.B.I. or try to send a copy of this to them, because if you do i will know, and might be pushed to do what i have being paid to do, beside, this is the first time I turned out to be a betrayer in my job.

Now, listen, i will arrange for us to see face to face but before that i need the amount of $80,000.00 and you will have nothing to be afraid of. I will be coming to see you in your office or home determine where you wish we meet, do not set any camera to cover us or set up any tape to record our conversation, my employer is in my control now, You will need to pay $20,000.00 to the account i will provide for you, before we will set our first meeting, after you have make the first advance payment to the account, i will give you the tape that contains his request for me to terminate you, which will be enough evidence for you to take him to court (if you wish to), then the balance will be paid later.

You don’t need my phone contact for now till am assured you are ready to comply good.

Lucky You.

‘Plutoed’ chosen as ‘06 Word of the Year

“Plutoed” was chosen 2006’s Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society at its annual meeting Friday.

What a funny word.  puhlootowed.  Hopefully you won’t feel plutoed as a result of reading this post today.

 Gotta run,

Dawg

Outback Steakhouse

Well,

My double date tonight was nice.  No kiddos and good friends with lots of laughter and good beer. 

That said:

1) The service sucked

2) The waitress told us she didn’t like boys anymore

3) Even though one of the buss boys is “totally” in love with her.

4) My friend’s steak was unedible according to him and had the manager take it off the bill.

5) The Pork Chops are way too peppery served with a weird orange marmalade mixed with red peppers type of sauce.

The steaks were clearly not worth the $20 each that we paid.  (I know I know…it IS Outback afterall)

Needless to say this chain has gone down hill in the last few years and we won’t be back for quite some time if ever again.

I would have eaten “outback in my backyard with a steak that I BBQ’d any day over those skewered gems we had tonight.

Hold the pepper!

Out.

Dawg.

Multi Lingual Etiquette

Hey all.  I was in a grocery store today to get a quick bite to eat for lunch and sat down to eat my sandwich next to 3 guys that were speaking a language other than English.  I am fluent in their langauage as well, but they didn’t know that and I didn’t tell them.  I just sat and listened. 

I was apalled at what I had heard them talking about….sex, drugs and girls, not to mention one of their mother’s was in jail for DUI.  They were swearing and carrying on about all that is negative in there lives and than as they finally left, they made a comment about my shoes….it was positive….but come on man.  It is encounters like this that really form pre-conceptions about certain people and leads to racial profiling.

My point is this:  If you speak a language other than English in America, you better be damned sure that the people around you won’t be offended by what is being said and that they don’t get offended or feel ostracized by listening to a non-English speaking conversation.

And avoid making any comments about people around you that you don’t think understand your language. 

Because they just might.

Happy Friday.

Pedestrian Etiquette

I gotta say, pedestrians really are getting bolder as time marches forward.

January must be “Pedestrian walk like an ass-clown month.”  Every Friday I pick up a few bags of bagels for my team.  I think they appreciate that so alas, I continue. 

It always seems as if every time I back up my car in the bagel store’s parking lot, that there is some idiot thats sees me backing me up (and I see them too) but they keep walking behind my car, ensuring that I stop for them. 

Are these people idiots?  Don’t they realize that it’s a bad thing to walk behind a car that is in reverse backing up??  I don’t care if they haven’t had breakfast or their morning latte’ from Starbucks or Peet’s.  The bottom line is:

Don’t walk behind a car that is backing up. 

You put yourself and my car’s bumper at risk when you do this.  Not to mention the time synch it could be.  The last thing I want to do is back over you and have to get out to pull your bloody ass from underneath my car just because your are an ass-clown pedestrian!

As support for my thoughts I found this (here’s the complete link to the list):

“#11, Always look for signs that a car is about to move (rear lights, exhaust smoke, sound of motor, wheels turning), and never walk behind a vehicle that is backing up.”

Dolts!

over and out.

Training Update

Hey all.  Well, My prison sentence training is over.  I really feel like many times some exec is trying to save their ass so they use training as:

1) a way to justify their existence for another 6 months

2) A way during that 6 months to try and re-orchistrate the selling process into this fairy tale called “Value Selling” or as some may refer to it as Solution Selling mixed in with a pinch of Vision Match. 

3) *deep breath*  See number 2.  I know I know. 

The bottom line is sales training really needs to be tailored to the skill level of the sales team that is in attendance instead of trying to shoehorn in 2 days of hell and be limited by the least common denominator.

They had lead gen and sales dev reps in with senior sales managers! 

As Charlie Brown would say:

AAUUGHHH!

And as my daughter says after her presentations on sharing days:

“And I am ready for questions.”